You’re welcome.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have solved this generation’s greatest quandary. I can tell you exactly what it takes to get that coveted interview.

I know, I know. My Nobel Prize should be here shortly.

Step 1) Apply. Duh.

Step 2) Get real bored. Reeeeeeeal bored. So bored that your only form of entertainment is to paint your nails interview-inappropriate colors that stain your entire hand when you try to take it off. The tackier the better. This is your future on the line here. As a reference point, I picked Sally Hansen’s “All Fired Up” and my fingers look like they exploded.

Step 3) Make no efforts towards your personal appearance. Forget about making an appointment to fix your roots so that you start to look like you have a flower beds worth of dirt coming out of your head, do not get that haircut so you start to resemble the creature from the black lagoon, and absolutely do not work on your eyebrows so that they start growing like fur all over your face. You need to be looking gross. It’s all part of the plan. Trust me.

Step 4) Wait by the phone. Now that you have successfully made yourself look as unkempt and unprofessional as possible your call about your desired interview will be here shortly! I got my call today, actually.

You don’t have to take my word for it. If you’re as desperate as I am then you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I wish you all luck on your grossifying endeavors.

Senorita Stressypants.

If you know me you know that stress is my middle name. I’m neurotic and a chronic worrier about pretty much everything. This semester, and for pretty much the first time, my worries weren’t about something trivial. I was giving myself panic attacks over my GPA for this semester because it was sitting cumulatively at a 3.04 when I needed a 3.0 to apply for studying abroad.

I was going insane because I was so sure I was going to get a C in my brit lit class because our professor was a psycho, I thought I was going to miss out on an A in nutrition by a tiny number of points, and I was sitting frighteningly close to a C in polysci because of these stupid workbook pages we had to do. I was banking on a B in accounting and an A in preinternship.

The brit lit final was rough. She gave us our prompts for our 3 essays on a Tuesday and set the due date for that Friday (her name was creatively and thoroughly cursed by yours truly). If you follow me on twitter then you got to witness my stress firsthand. If you don’t, it’s probably for the best. The night was not pretty to say the least. I was in the library until the wee hours and there were more tears involved than I would like to admit to. Alas, I finished it and my brain was (mostly) still intact. I even managed to turn it in to our professor without yelling at her for an awful semester! Then, it was time to wait.

During finals week I managed the exact number of points I needed to get an A in nutrition, got an A on my polysci final which was exactly what I needed to get a B,  and a 95 on my preinternship final which secured my A. Accounting was my last and the one that I was most worried about. I studied my butt off and felt pretty good about it when it was over but Senorita Stressypants mode kicked in and I was sure that I got every single question wrong.

So, when grades went up last night the first one on the list was brit lit. I MANAGED A B BY THE GRACE OF GOD! I honestly don’t know how it happened. Maybe she could see the tear stains on my paper and felt pity for me? I don’t know. But I’ll take it. A pity B and a real B carry the same weight for my GPA. I also got a freaking A in accounting!!!!! I was on the phone with my parents when I saw that one and I’m so glad I was because my reaction was priceless, apparently. So for an entire semester of stressing myself out more than ever before, I get rewarded with a 3.5 for the semester and a 3.17 overall.

Now, I can actually focus on my Surrey application without worrying about my GPA standing in way of getting accepted. Prayers please!

Cinco de drinko.

Not diggin:

• It’s Cinco de Mayo and I’m sitting in the computer lab chuggin along on my brit lit final papers that are due tomorrow by 2 pm. Don’t try to tell me that I procrastinated too much because we got the prompts Tuesday. AND our final is technically supposed to be next Thursday. How bout them apples?
• Summer starts for me in less than a week and I’m still not employed.
• I never thought I’d be kind of bummed to not be taking any summer classes but I am.

Diggin:

• There could be some fantastic news coming my way in a few weeks. Cross your fingers even if you don’t know why!
• Despite this assignment from hell that’s due tomorrow it meant that I got quality hangout time with Sean for quite some time today.
• When I do D&ND next week I’ll be writing it as a college junior. HOLY HELL.

Peace, love, and margaritas!

Abs

Bullet your whole day.

• Woke up at 8 as per usual.
• Couldn’t drag myself out of bed till like 8:45.
• Made coffee. I don’t know what was different about it today but I’ve been WIRED like crazy all day.
• Went and got gas and groceries.
• Went to our last accounting class before our final next Wednesday!
• Took a nutrition test.
• Got happy hour from Sonic and lamented the fact that I can’t go to a real happy hour for another 13 and a half months.
• Pretended to work on my take home final.
• Went to OG for dinner with the loves of my life.
• Aaaaaaaaand now I’m back to pretending to work on my final once again.

Please pray that someone gets back to me about a job for this summer. Or better yet, if you know of any openings in Denton/Dallas/Fort Worth PLEASE let me know. If I don’t hear anything soon I’m going to have to go join the dayworkers that hang out across from my apartment complex.

I’m only kind of joking.

A book you love.

I love to read so of course I can’t narrow it down to just one.

• I read Water for Elephants a few weeks ago and I can’t recommend it enough! The movie actually did the book justice so go see it but do yourself a favor and read the book too.
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was really, really good but it scared the pants off of me even after I finished it for longer than I would like to admit.
• I’m probably going to keep re-reading the Harry Potter books for the rest of my life and they’ll never get old.
• My Sister’s Keeper is a good one if you want to bawl your eyes out. I read it when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and I can only imagine how pathetic I looked sitting on the couch with horribly puffy cheeks in a haze of pain meds sobbing.
• I made the mistake of seeing Charlie St Cloud before I read it. Even with as much screen time as Zac Efron had the movie was terrible. I hesitated to read the book because of it but I’m really glad that I finally did because it’s infinitely better than the movie could ever hope to be!
• The Pact is a book that I never would have picked up for myself but while we were on a cruise a couple summers ago Clare and I switched books with each other and I ended up reading it. It’s pretty intense but I loved it.

The Love Lowdown.

I’ve been somewhat uninspired when it comes to blogging lately and I came across another 30 day challenge on Tumblr so can you possibly guess what that means? Here goes nothing!

Ways to win your heart is cheesy but a little cheese every now and then never hurt anyone, did it?

1. Make me feel special. That means take time out to talk to me, remember things that I’ve told you, and don’t make me feel like I’m driving every interaction we have.
2. Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm. If you are sarcastic and also get my sense of humor right off the bat then you win.
3. Just an FYI, trying to make me jealous will backfire and actually make me never want to talk to you again because you just outed yourself as an arrogant douche.
4. Be straightforward. If you like me, tell me! I’m always blissfully unaware (read: self-consciously ignorant) if someone’s got those special feelins so please, fill me in. I’d be forever grateful.
5. If you don’t agree with me on something then just tell me. Agreeing on everything is cute in theory but in reality it actually makes everyone want to barf. Having differences is fun!

Well, there you go. All you gents are now free to make me fall in love with you. Ready, set, go!

Teehee, just kidding. We all know I’m going to die an old, celibate cat lady.

The last 2 weeks were boring. So I pretended they didn’t happen. Sorry?

I’m switching up the order on this little segment. Diggin and Not Diggin has a nice ring to it but who wants to read something that ends on a sour note? We’re gonna get the crap out of the way first and then move on to the good stuff!

Not diggin:

-My brit lit professor has been freaking out on us for the past couple weeks because she feels like we aren’t reading thoroughly enough before we come to class. So in the 3 weeks before finals she’s decided to give us a horribly nitpicky quiz at the beginning of every class.  Let’s all say a fond farewell to my chances of getting an A.

-I had a panic attack Sunday morning. It wasn’t pleasant.

-When I was making dinner on Sunday night I was opening a can and sliced my finger pretty deep on the rim. If at all possible, avoid doing that. The whole pain part aside it’s just pretty dang messy and inconvenient. Unless you like blood n gutz. Then who am I to stop you?

Diggin:

-There’s nothing more satisfying than taking a really hard test and then getting an A on it.

-Getting your hair dyed by someone who actually knows what they’re doing. My hair is finally all one color!

-Out of the blue calls from one of your best friends are always a plus.

-The kitchen in my apartment has been gettin a lot of action from me lately (teehee). This past week I’ve made banana bread, monster cookies, taco soup, and this awesome ground turkey and tofu recipe I found. Cooking for one sucks though because I have piles of leftovers and I can’t eat them all by myself. Sooooooo if you’re hungry and in Denton and you’re reading this please come over and help me eat these leftovers/let me cook for you!

D&ND The Ocho.

Kudos to you if you got that reference. I try to keep things real high-brow on this lovely blog as I’m sure you can tell.

Before I begin my typical insanity I’m going to take a moment to remember my grandpa, John McLaughlin, who passed away on Tuesday night. We’re all very, very glad that he’s in a better place and not suffering anymore but I’m not going to lie to you and say that any of us are a-ok about the whole situation. Losing someone sucks. He’s probably the smartest person that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and he’s going to be truly missed by all of us.

So without further ado, here’s my week in a nutshell.

Diggin:
-My other half (otherwise known as Sean Smallwood) is running for SGA Vice President! If you are a UNT kiddo and are reading this PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE vote for Sarah and Sean for President and VP!
-I asked for West Side Story tour tickets for Christmas so the fam is seeing it in Austin this Sunday!
-We had a test in my management class on Monday night and I got a B! Even those smartypants who got A’s can’t get me down about it.
-It’s going to hit 90 degrees in Austin this weekend. Need I say more?
-I got a Tumblr! http://abbymclaughlinlin.tumblr.com/
Not diggin:
-It’s been in the 40’s the past few days. Does Mother Nature not realize that it’s almost April? My fingers are about to fall off. I almost had a conniption on Tuesday over the rain, too. Not a good week weather-wise.
-Speaking of that rain, I think I ruined my favorite pair of boots because of it. Word for the wise: if you have any kind of thought that your boots may possibly have a hole in them, do not wear them if your campus is one giant puddle. My motto has always been fashion over function and now I’m paying for it. C’est la vie.
-I learned the hard way that while drinking coffee in the afternoon may feel chic, you will be awake all night because of it. I’m switching to tea as my afternoon drink of choice. The Brits have the right idea. And we all know I’ll do anything to be just a little bit British.
-It’s been 2 weeks since I bleached my hair and my roots are coming in with a vengeance. It’s not even a little bit cute.

I hope this lovely Thursday finds you well. See you next week! (Or maybe sooner… I’ve got some possible post ideas percolating about in my little brain.)

D&ND SEVEN!!

I’m running out of creative ways to write these titles. So for now you’re gonna have to be happy with all caps and exclamation points. Ya dig? Also, one of these days I’m going to remember that I actually like to write and I’ll get going with more than one lame post a week. But for the time being we’re going for the one and done.

Alrighty then. Diggin:

-I have awesome friends. I went to dinner last night with a group that I don’t get to see enough of and I had such a wonderful time that I’ve been smiling from ear to ear since then. Cheesy? Yep. I’m definitely ok with that.

-The summertime countdown has begun! Unfortunately this will have to segue into the not diggin section as well. Stay tuned.

-Emily and I took a spin class yesterday! It was insane in the best possible way. I’m feeling like my butt might actually fall off but I think we’re both hooked!

-We had our Shakespearian sonnet day in my brit lit class on Tuesday. I’m not much of a poetry person but those sonnets just get to me. (Hey future husband [if you even exist], Know 116 like the back of your hand. There will be a test. Closed book. Hope you’ll be ready!)

-I was getting something from the bookstore yesterday and the guy who was ringing me up told me that he really liked my hair. Sometimes, it’s just the little things.

-SomuchcuteI’mdyyyyyyyyying 

Not diggin:

-So, the segue in the previous section. Summer is rapidly approaching which also means that summer school is going to be here as well. Cue big ole tears mourning summer as I’ve always known it. I’m glad to be getting some more basics out of the way but I won’t lie to you, the idea of giving up my summer is sad. I guess this means it’s almost time to be a grown up. That’s a whole post in and of itself so I’ll cut myself off here.

-One of the bad things about the weather warming up is that the bees are all over the place. Now, let me fill you in on a little secret. I’m TERRIFIED of those stupid bees. So when one lands on me I do that horribly-awkward-trying-to-be-cool-about-it-GET-THE-HELL-OFF-ME dance. Ladies and gentlemen that very dance was performed by yours truly yesterday while I was walking to class by myself. I’m sure I looked insane and I’m terribly sorry that all of you weren’t there, popcorn in hand, to behold it in all its glory.

D&ND Six/Seis/Six/Sechs.

I learned something new today. Six is spelled the same in English and in French. At least that’s what the internet says. So, no I didn’t repeat myself. And a blog title in 4 languages? Gettin a little too crazy. I’ll tone it down next time for those of you who just can’t handle it.

Diggin:

-Being home for spring break, duh. Add in bringing my bestie with me from Denton and I’m totally set. Why does this gloriousness have to end?

-Will and Grace. Project free tv has all of the episodes and I’m hooked!

-So I have blonde hair again? Quite spur of the moment. It was a long process and because we used bleach/peroxide I can’t really go back. I HATED it at first for a while but after catching glimpses at it in the mirror for the past couple of days it really like it.

Not diggin:

-Stupid drivers. I don’t know what it is but people are just getting worse and worse at driving and it pisses me off to no end.

Other than that there’s really not much to not dig. Spring break makes me an optimist! Who knew?