Ladies and gentlemen, I have solved this generation’s greatest quandary. I can tell you exactly what it takes to get that coveted interview.
I know, I know. My Nobel Prize should be here shortly.
Step 1) Apply. Duh.
Step 2) Get real bored. Reeeeeeeal bored. So bored that your only form of entertainment is to paint your nails interview-inappropriate colors that stain your entire hand when you try to take it off. The tackier the better. This is your future on the line here. As a reference point, I picked Sally Hansen’s “All Fired Up” and my fingers look like they exploded.
Step 3) Make no efforts towards your personal appearance. Forget about making an appointment to fix your roots so that you start to look like you have a flower beds worth of dirt coming out of your head, do not get that haircut so you start to resemble the creature from the black lagoon, and absolutely do not work on your eyebrows so that they start growing like fur all over your face. You need to be looking gross. It’s all part of the plan. Trust me.
Step 4) Wait by the phone. Now that you have successfully made yourself look as unkempt and unprofessional as possible your call about your desired interview will be here shortly! I got my call today, actually.
You don’t have to take my word for it. If you’re as desperate as I am then you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I wish you all luck on your grossifying endeavors.
If you know me you know that stress is my middle name. I’m neurotic and a chronic worrier about pretty much everything. This semester, and for pretty much the first time, my worries weren’t about something trivial. I was giving myself panic attacks over my GPA for this semester because it was sitting cumulatively at a 3.04 when I needed a 3.0 to apply for studying abroad.
I was going insane because I was so sure I was going to get a C in my brit lit class because our professor was a psycho, I thought I was going to miss out on an A in nutrition by a tiny number of points, and I was sitting frighteningly close to a C in polysci because of these stupid workbook pages we had to do. I was banking on a B in accounting and an A in preinternship.
The brit lit final was rough. She gave us our prompts for our 3 essays on a Tuesday and set the due date for that Friday (her name was creatively and thoroughly cursed by yours truly). If you follow me on twitter then you got to witness my stress firsthand. If you don’t, it’s probably for the best. The night was not pretty to say the least. I was in the library until the wee hours and there were more tears involved than I would like to admit to. Alas, I finished it and my brain was (mostly) still intact. I even managed to turn it in to our professor without yelling at her for an awful semester! Then, it was time to wait.
During finals week I managed the exact number of points I needed to get an A in nutrition, got an A on my polysci final which was exactly what I needed to get a B, and a 95 on my preinternship final which secured my A. Accounting was my last and the one that I was most worried about. I studied my butt off and felt pretty good about it when it was over but Senorita Stressypants mode kicked in and I was sure that I got every single question wrong.
So, when grades went up last night the first one on the list was brit lit. I MANAGED A B BY THE GRACE OF GOD! I honestly don’t know how it happened. Maybe she could see the tear stains on my paper and felt pity for me? I don’t know. But I’ll take it. A pity B and a real B carry the same weight for my GPA. I also got a freaking A in accounting!!!!! I was on the phone with my parents when I saw that one and I’m so glad I was because my reaction was priceless, apparently. So for an entire semester of stressing myself out more than ever before, I get rewarded with a 3.5 for the semester and a 3.17 overall.
Now, I can actually focus on my Surrey application without worrying about my GPA standing in way of getting accepted. Prayers please!
- Woke up at 8 as per usual.
- Couldn’t drag myself out of bed till like 8:45.
- Made coffee. I don’t know what was different about it today but I’ve been WIRED like crazy all day.
- Went and got gas and groceries.
- Went to our last accounting class before our final next Wednesday!
- Took a nutrition test.
- Got happy hour from Sonic and lamented the fact that I can’t go to a real happy hour for another 13 and a half months.
- Pretended to work on my take home final.
- Went to OG for dinner with the loves of my life.
- Aaaaaaaaand now I’m back to pretending to work on my final once again.
Please pray that someone gets back to me about a job for this summer. Or better yet, if you know of any openings in Denton/Dallas/Fort Worth PLEASE let me know. If I don’t hear anything soon I’m going to have to go join the dayworkers that hang out across from my apartment complex.
I’m only kind of joking.
I love to read so of course I can’t narrow it down to just one.
- I read Water for Elephants a few weeks ago and I can’t recommend it enough! The movie actually did the book justice so go see it but do yourself a favor and read the book too.
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was really, really good but it scared the pants off of me even after I finished it for longer than I would like to admit.
- I’m probably going to keep re-reading the Harry Potter books for the rest of my life and they’ll never get old.
- My Sister’s Keeper is a good one if you want to bawl your eyes out. I read it when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and I can only imagine how pathetic I looked sitting on the couch with horribly puffy cheeks in a haze of pain meds sobbing.
- I made the mistake of seeing Charlie St Cloud before I read it. Even with as much screen time as Zac Efron had the movie was terrible. I hesitated to read the book because of it but I’m really glad that I finally did because it’s infinitely better than the movie could ever hope to be!
- The Pact is a book that I never would have picked up for myself but while we were on a cruise a couple summers ago Clare and I switched books with each other and I ended up reading it. It’s pretty intense but I loved it.
I’ve been somewhat uninspired when it comes to blogging lately and I came across another 30 day challenge on Tumblr so can you possibly guess what that means? Here goes nothing!
Ways to win your heart is cheesy but a little cheese every now and then never hurt anyone, did it?
- Make me feel special. That means take time out to talk to me, remember things that I’ve told you, and don’t make me feel like I’m driving every interaction we have.
- Sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm. If you are sarcastic and also get my sense of humor right off the bat then you win.
- Just an FYI, trying to make me jealous will backfire and actually make me never want to talk to you again because you just outed yourself as an arrogant douche.
- Be straightforward. If you like me, tell me! I’m always blissfully unaware (read: self-consciously ignorant) if someone’s got those special feelins so please, fill me in. I’d be forever grateful.
- If you don’t agree with me on something then just tell me. Agreeing on everything is cute in theory but in reality it actually makes everyone want to barf. Having differences is fun!
Well, there you go. All you gents are now free to make me fall in love with you. Ready, set, go!
Teehee, just kidding. We all know I’m going to die an old, celibate cat lady.
I’m switching up the order on this little segment. Diggin and Not Diggin has a nice ring to it but who wants to read something that ends on a sour note? We’re gonna get the crap out of the way first and then move on to the good stuff!
-My brit lit professor has been freaking out on us for the past couple weeks because she feels like we aren’t reading thoroughly enough before we come to class. So in the 3 weeks before finals she’s decided to give us a horribly nitpicky quiz at the beginning of every class. Let’s all say a fond farewell to my chances of getting an A.
-I had a panic attack Sunday morning. It wasn’t pleasant.
-When I was making dinner on Sunday night I was opening a can and sliced my finger pretty deep on the rim. If at all possible, avoid doing that. The whole pain part aside it’s just pretty dang messy and inconvenient. Unless you like blood n gutz. Then who am I to stop you?
-There’s nothing more satisfying than taking a really hard test and then getting an A on it.
-Getting your hair dyed by someone who actually knows what they’re doing. My hair is finally all one color!
-Out of the blue calls from one of your best friends are always a plus.
-The kitchen in my apartment has been gettin a lot of action from me lately (teehee). This past week I’ve made banana bread, monster cookies, taco soup, and this awesome ground turkey and tofu recipe I found. Cooking for one sucks though because I have piles of leftovers and I can’t eat them all by myself. Sooooooo if you’re hungry and in Denton and you’re reading this please come over and help me eat these leftovers/let me cook for you!